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THE QUESTION ABOUT THE BILL EXPERIMENT   And so there I was, having a meal with my finace in Marie Calendar's, and it hits me. A question I'm always kinda' hinted upon (in my mind anyway), but never really asked. In restaraunts, most often you're brought the bill AFTER you've already eaten what you've yet to pay for. Sizzler makes you pay BEFORE you eat, which I actually find rather refreshing. So, I took it upon myself to conduct an experiment. I sent the same letter to thirteen restaraunts, asking them what their policy was for people who are unable to pay after they've already eaten. It was just sent out on Friday, January 4th, 2001 at 11:30PM. Let's see what they say, and how long they take to say it. THE LETTER Hey there [restaraunt name], I was having dinner with a couple friends in one of your restaraunts the other night, and somehow the topic of your faith in your customers came up. More specifically, we paid attention to something we never really thought about before, and that's the fact that you bring people the bill AFTER they've eaten. Anyway, the point of this letter is that we were just curious as to what your policy is for someone who's unable to pay after a meal. What if someone orders a meal, and then only at the end, realizes that he made the innocent mistake of leaving his wallet at home? Do you make him wash dishes until he works off his bill just like in the movies? Do you make him wait until someone he calls can come and bring the money? This hasn't happened to me, it's just the hypothetical situation my friends and I came up with while having dinner the other night. So, if you could, please let me know what you would do should something like that occur. Thank you very much. Sincerely, Benjamin Smash THE SUBJECTS T.G.I.Friday's Carrows Olive Garden Outback Steakhouse Chevy's Chili's Red Robin Claim Jumper Red Lobster Macaroni Grill California Pizza Kitchen Applebee's Denny's THE RESPONSES 01/05/02 - T.G.I.Friday's Dear Mr. Smash, Thank you for your recent Internet correspondence. At Carlson Restaurants Worldwide it is our policy to always try and satisfy any inquiries. Unfortunately, we do not provide specific information on the subject matter mentioned. Any information we have available may be found on our website. We appreciate your interest in Carlson Restaurants Worldwide and T.G.I.Friday's. Sincerely, Donetta Guest Relations ("...do not provide specific information on the subject matter mentioned." What the...? Why not? It's a simple question, right? Do you make the dead-beat wash dishes or no? Or is it something deeper that you're not allowed to comment on? I wonder if this is one of those places that'll break your legs using a couple thungs wielding baseball bats in an alley out back. Better still, maybe it's like Casino, when they take you in the back room, and Robert DeNiro's waiting for you, and asks you, "are you left handed or right handed?" And then you answer, and he crushes your whole hand under weight of a few blows of a hammer. Yeah. That's what it is. I'm betting on the latter.) 01/05/02 - Red Robin Dear Benjamin, Thank you for visiting the Red Robin web site and providing comments and/or concerns in our guest book. We appreciate your participation and feedback in using our web site. If you have submitted an inquiry and / or question(s), we will do our best to reply within 2 business days. At any rate, you will hear from us soon. Please do not reply to this message as no "reply-to" e-mail address has been attached with this message. Once again, thank you for your feedback and for visiting redrobin.com. Sincerely, Guest Relations for Red Robin International 01/07/02 - Red Lobster Dear Dr. Smash: It was with a great deal of regret that I learned of your experience at Red Lobster. Please accept my sincere apologies for the situations you encountered while dining with us. Let me assure you that we take all our comments from our guests very seriously. We would like the opportunity to speak with you regarding this incident. Please call our Guest Relations Department at 1-800-562-7837, Monday through Friday, between the hours of 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Eastern time. The representative who answers will be able to assist you. Once again let me thank you for bringing this to my attention. Sincerely, Wanda Hospitality Specialist (Did I say something about having, in any way, an unsatisfactory meal or experience at Red Lobster? The only incident that I made these people aware of was when my friends and I suddenly became curious. Oh well, they can expect a call from me, you know, just to clarify things.) 01/07/02 - Claim Jumper Dear Mr. Smash, Thank you for your email. Please feel free to call me regarding your questions. My number is (800) 949-4538. Sincerely, Brooke Melhorn Guest Relations Claim Jumper Restaurants (I just called, and Brooke wasn't there. Instead, I was transfered to her associate. I explained my question to her, and she transfered me to her manager. The manager was very concerned, and from the minute he picked up the phone, I could tell that he was really prepared to help me resolve whatever problem I had. When I informed him that I simply had a somewhat ridiculous question that I needed answered, I caught him somewhat off guard, and he transdered me to his supervisor. The supervisor was a very calm and pleasant woman to talk to. "You didn't have a bad experience as Claim Jumper?" "No, ma'am, I just had this silly question pop up in conversation while my friends and I were having dinner the other night. That's all." She laughed, found it amusing, and then informed me that rarely, if ever, does this situation come ip. If it does, nine times out of ten someone just runs out to the ATM or home and gets the money and returns. But there is that other one time out of ten when no calm solution can be reached, and the resulting penalty is usually no worse that simply not allowing that person back to the restaraunt. So, I learned something.) 01/07/02 - Applebee's Your e-mail has been received at Applebee's Guest Relations. We will review your feedback and be in touch! Please keep this e-mail so you have your case number for future reference. Your Case Number is 68549. Thanks for contacting us. Applebee's Guest Relations Department 1-888-592-7753 01/07/02 - Chevy's Benjamin, Thank you for your question. In all my 10 years, this has only happened once. All that happened was that one person stayed behind until the other one returned to pay. Prior though, I asked to see the guests driver's license and took down the number, just for pre-caution. Worst case scenario, the police would be called and usually this would be due to the person dining and dashing. Not a good way to handle not being able to pay a bill. Andrew Long Chevys Inc. (Is this a thinly veiled threat? I wonder if Mr. Long here believes that I'm some kind of scam-artist doing some reasearch before choosing a mark. His answer was very informative, and shows that he actually read my letter - unlike some others. Yet, still, he has to throw in a little bit about, I'm paraphrasing, "if you try this I'll call the cops." Oy. Whatever, I got my answer, and should I try to scam anyone, it won't be Chevy's.) 01/08/02 - California Pizza Kitchen Dear Benjamin: Thank you for your e-mail. Your question would best be answered by the general manager at your local CPK. It would really be up to him or her. You will find a list of our locations and their phone numbers on our website. Happy New Year! - CPK (These people obviously read my letter as well, and have explained to me that the resulting scenario in a dead-beat patron varies from restaraunt to restaraunt, manager to manager. There's really no way to make fun of them. Well, actually, there is. What's with the "CPK"? They're still a crappy eaterie that puts nuts on pizza. Who puts nuts on a pizza? I'd like to put my nuts on their foreheads, but that's another story. Just like Kentucky Fried Chicken's new "KFC" name. Who are they trying to kid? Whatever. At least they've proven their ability to read.) 01/09/02 - Applebee's Dear Benjamin, I have forwarded your request to the franchisee and they should be contacting you shortly with the information you requested. Sincerely, Claudia Sutherland Guest Relations Coordinator Ref # 68549 01/09/02 - Carrows At Carrows, we bring the bill to the customer after the meal is brought because a guest may want to add a dessert or bring home a pie and it would be too many transactions if the guest has to pay before each item is brought. I see your point to your story - however, I have heard of customers forgetting their wallets and thus having no money to pay - usually a driver's license is left until the guest returns - or if the guest is known an arraignment is made. Sometimes, a guest calls someone who does bring the money over - I have not heard of any guest having to wash dishes. (No 'Dear Benjamin', no 'Mr. Benjamin', no nothing. Just an answer, which, basically, is all I really wanted. But I want respect too, dammit! Ah hell. I had such high hopes for this project, but it's not 'popping' like I had hoped it would. Whatever. Thank you Carrows for a top notch answer.) 01/18/02 - Olive Garden Dear Mr. Smash: We greatly appreciate your inquiry regarding the procedure used when a guest cannot pay for their meal. How the check would be handled would depend on the circumstances involved. Our managers are trained to take whatever steps are necessary to overcome a problem for the benefit of all, the guest and Olive Garden. We appreciate the opportunity to serve you and pledge to focus on 100% Guest Delight. Guest Relations