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10 Interview Questions   I find myself in the unenviable position of having to interview people for positions that open up in the company where I work. Way back when I was first interviewed I was asked such questions as what animal could I be and why, what's my favorite color, food, movie, etc... To keep with the tradition of asking silly questions in interviews I came across the idea of asking the ten questions asked by James Lipton at the end of each of his celebrity interviews for the show Inside the Actor's Studio. Here are the questions and the answers I've received: Interviewee: Chris 1. What is your favorite word? Superfluous 2. What is your least favorite word? Droll 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Jumping in mosh pits while taking pictures 4. What turns you off? Boredom 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck 6. What sound or noise do you love? Music - anything other than 'soft rock' 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Soft rock 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Professional wrestler 9. What profession would you not like to do? The guy who cleans the toilets after an A's/Raiders game 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "I understand you were framed." NOT HIRED Interviewee: Luke 1. What is your favorite word? Philanthropist 2. What is your least favorite word? Snorkle 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Female chellist 4. What turns you off? Old Republican congressmen 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuckstick 6. What sound or noise do you love? French horn 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Daytime talkshow background crowd noise 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Screenwriter 9. What profession would you not like to do? Garbageman 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Free cheesecake." NOT HIRED Interviewee: Jeremy 1. What is your favorite word? About 2. What is your least favorite word? Raid 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Pixel perfect perfection 4. What turns you off? Sloppiness 5. What is your favorite curse word? Dammit to hell 6. What sound or noise do you love? Water 7. What sound or noise do you hate? The 'beep bop beep' when you turn on your car alarm 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Politician 9. What profession would you not like to do? Video game tester 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Blue pill or red pill?" HIRED Interviewee: April 1. What is your favorite word? Brilliant 2. What is your least favorite word? Drudgery 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Good design 4. What turns you off? Inconsistencies 5. What is your favorite curse word? Crap and a half 6. What sound or noise do you love? Baby laughing 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Fingernails on chalkboard 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Botanist 9. What profession would you not like to do? Garbageman 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Welcome to Heaven. Here's you Mac." HIRED Interviewee: Colleen 1. What is your favorite word? Your 2. What is your least favorite word? Philosophical 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Fire 4. What turns you off? Conformity 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fucking hell 6. What sound or noise do you love? Squeeks 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Ticking 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Band manager 9. What profession would you not like to do? Computer engineer 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Wassup!" NOT HIRED Interviewee: Daniel 1. What is your favorite word? Cool 2. What is your least favorite word? Sucks 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Web surfing 4. What turns you off? Wife 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fucking piece of shit 6. What sound or noise do you love? Race car engine 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Nails on chalkboard 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Day trader 9. What profession would you not like to do? Doctor 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I'd like to hear, "I love you," but I'll probably hear, "You suck." NOT HIRED Interviewee: Thomas 1. What is your favorite word? Amphibious 2. What is your least favorite word? Moist 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Creative people 4. What turns you off? People who don't take responsibility for their actions 5. What is your favorite curse word? Crap 6. What sound or noise do you love? Ocean 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Garbage truck at 7:00am 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Furniture designer 9. What profession would you not like to do? Garbageman 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Nice job. Come in and take a load off." HIRED Interviewee: Mark 1. What is your favorite word? Cardumum 2. What is your least favorite word? No 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Mythology 4. What turns you off? Watching people give up 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck 6. What sound or noise do you love? When his dog settles down for the night 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Motorcycles powering up the hill at 24th and Church 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Politician 9. What profession would you not like to do? Collecting semen samples from any live animal 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "See? I really do exist!" NOT HIRED Interviewee: Serena 1. What is your favorite word? Whatever 2. What is your least favorite word? Can't 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Research 4. What turns you off? Web designers with jobs that suck 5. What is your favorite curse word? Shit 6. What sound or noise do you love? Typing 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Slamming doors 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Hostess of a show on the Travel Channel so she gets paid to travel the world and report back 9. What profession would you not like to do? Lawyer 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "You gave it your best." NOT HIRED Interviewee: Rusty 1. What is your favorite word? Fuck 2. What is your least favorite word? Anything he can't spell 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Cartoons 4. What turns you off? Negative people 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck 6. What sound or noise do you love? Squishing sounds 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Turkeys during mating season 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Gardener 9. What profession would you not like to do? Toll booth 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? "Hope it was worth it." NOT HIRED Interviewee: Jennifer 1. What is your favorite word? CSS 2. What is your least favorite word? No 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Experience, life lessons, and going to galleries 4. What turns you off? Nothing 5. What is your favorite curse word? Doesn't have a favorite word 6. What sound or noise do you love? Waves and the ocean 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Her cat crying in the morning 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Merchandise shopper/marketing research 9. What profession would you not like to do? Accounting 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? She pictured God giving her a tremendous room full of endless art supplies, with waves or at least a river running through it. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Suki 1. What is your favorite word? Interesting 2. What is your least favorite word? Piss off 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Browsing, brainstorming 4. What turns you off? Not much 5. What is your favorite curse word? Whatever comes to mind, she usually just bangs stuff 6. What sound or noise do you love? Laughing 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Construction 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Interior design 9. What profession would you not like to do? Sales, lawyer 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? She first wants proof that it is indeed Heaven. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Jimmy 1. What is your favorite word? Love 2. What is your least favorite word? People 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Family 4. What turns you off? People yelling at him 5. What is your favorite curse word? Shit 6. What sound or noise do you love? Rock and roll 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Screaming 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Basketball player 9. What profession would you not like to do? Doctor 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You were a good man. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Morgan 1. What is your favorite word? Plethora 2. What is your least favorite word? Any of the hundreds created recently by the internet; blogosphere, splog, etc... 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Music 4. What turns you off? Routine 5. What is your favorite curse word? Cunt "it's the only curse word left" 6. What sound or noise do you love? All sounds 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Construction across from his apartment 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Writer 9. What profession would you not like to do? Finance/accounting 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? You were right. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Toby 1. What is your favorite word? Giggle 2. What is your least favorite word? Infection 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? That 'Eureka Moment' when everything just clicks and, "AH HA!," you're inspired. 4. What turns you off? Lack of communication 5. What is your favorite curse word? Motherfucker 6. What sound or noise do you love? Daughter laughing 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Daughter's deep, silent inhale just before srcreaming out in pain 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Film 9. What profession would you not like to do? Sales 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? It doesn't matter what you did, just so long as you were a good person. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Mark 1. What is your favorite word? Yes 2. What is your least favorite word? No 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Music 4. What turns you off? Bad music 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck you 6. What sound or noise do you love? Opera 7. What sound or noise do you hate? The screeching of the BART train's wheels as it makes a turn 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Race car driver 9. What profession would you not like to do? Accountant 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Welcome home. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Joey 1. What is your favorite word? Man 2. What is your least favorite word? Cute 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Other than women? Getting that sensation of success when finishing a huge project. 4. What turns you off? Someone on a team that slows you down/blocks you. 5. What is your favorite curse word? Shit 6. What sound or noise do you love? 808 Drum 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Squeeking 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Psychologist 9. What profession would you not like to do? Police officer 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Welcome. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Jojy 1. What is your favorite word? It's a four letter word I don't think I should say. 2. What is your least favorite word? No 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Seeing something outside of a project that you think would apply. 4. What turns you off? Something that can not be done. 5. What is your favorite curse word? Same as my favorite word except with an 'er' at the end. 6. What sound or noise do you love? Music without lyrics - just the rhythm. 7. What sound or noise do you hate? My heater. 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pilot 9. What profession would you not like to do? Lawyer 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? I am proud of you. You did what I sent you for. NOT HIRED Interviewee: Sriram 1. What is your favorite word? Fuck 2. What is your least favorite word? Meeting 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Cool technology / electronic gadgets 4. What turns you off? Graffiti 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck 6. What sound or noise do you love? Rock music 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Monotonous beats or ringtones 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Professional Poker Player 9. What profession would you not like to do? Janitor 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Have a drink PENDING Interviewee: Max 1. What is your favorite word? Piece of shit 2. What is your least favorite word? Streamline the process 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Great things/ideas 4. What turns you off? Mediocrity 5. What is your favorite curse word? Any cursing done in Russian - it's much more expressive 6. What sound or noise do you love? Ocean waves 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Sounds that wake you up from your sleep 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Professional athlete 9. What profession would you not like to do? Any job where you clock in at 9 and out at 5, with precise 30 minute lunch break and two 15 minute breaks that you have to clock in and out from as well 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Your family is ok PENDING Interviewee: Ervinna 1. What is your favorite word? Dude 2. What is your least favorite word? It used to be Fuck, but now it's a reluctant, aggrivated exhale 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? When people take charge 4. What turns you off? When people don't take initiative 5. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck 6. What sound or noise do you love? House music 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Ringtones 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Party coordinator 9. What profession would you not like to do? Lawyer 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Ervinna you did well PENDING Interviewee: Ganesh 1. What is your favorite word? Opportunity 2. What is your least favorite word? Depressed 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Challenge 4. What turns you off? Negativity 5. What is your favorite curse word? Oh shucks 6. What sound or noise do you love? Good music with a strong beat 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Slow dragging sounds 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Finance 9. What profession would you not like to do? Lawyer 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Welcome aboard PENDING Interviewee: Sandy 1. What is your favorite word? Please 2. What is your least favorite word? Insist 3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? New technology 4. What turns you off? Deadlines 5. What is your favorite curse word? Damn 6. What sound or noise do you love? Birds chirping 7. What sound or noise do you hate? Vacuum cleaner 8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Astronaut 9. What profession would you not like to do? Food service 10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Good job PENDING