That's one theory. Another theory is that, subconsciously, my brain just loves to screw with me, deprive me of rest, and therefore create wacky dreams as the outcome. I certainly don't mind. Hell, I even remember that, during my dream last night, I was laughing at myself, and my ridiculous situation. Read on, my friends, read on… I was in a fancy hotel in Manhattan, on vacation with, you guessed, that lovely and gorgeous woman that I can't wait to marry. As she's snuggling up next to me, sleeping peacefully without a care in the world, I'm staring, unblinking, at the ceiling above me - my eyes red and dry from having been kept up an ungodly long time without rest. We'd been in New York for a couple days now (it's funny how while dreaming you suddenly just have all kind of background information without asking - I love it), and I hadn't slept one wink - having kept myself up on coffee (even though I hate coffee), tea, and plenty of soda. As I lay there, I noticed a spider crawling up along my side of the bed, from just to the side of my feet towards my shoulder. I didn't like it there, and I knew it would freak out Lisa should she wake up to see it, but I just laid there, since I had nothing else to do, and watched it approach. I figured that if it decided to crawl over me towards Lisa, I'd kill it. Otherwise, heck, free show. Anyway, Mr. 8 Legs is walking up my arm and (you're going to love this), upon getting angry for having caught himself in my arm hair, he bites me. In no time I knock the spider off my arm and kill it. Now fully awake and wanting the remote control for the television I reach, and from the palm of my hand flies webbing. The remote control is caught, and then retrieved. I'm thrilled beyond all belief and with the recent Spider-Man movie still fresh in my mind I jump out the window and fling myself to the next building. Excitement and wonderment is what I feel, but when I look back, the webbing I sprayed to get to the next building disintegrates - it doesn't last long. I 'web' my way back into my room and, tired, I lay back in bed. However, just about the time I get back in bed, the couple upstairs start to go at it, and loudly, therefore keeping me awake even later. "Damn them," I thought, but then I realized that I could now do something about it. Aiming my arm out my window at, well, something (I don't know what), I propel myself in a really neat, yet very clumsy, Spiderman maneuver into my upstairs neighbors window. They're still going at it, but quickly slow down in shock of me in my underwear dripping webbing from my hands. I shoot them each in the mouth with the stuff, shutting them up, and then I pin them pretty solid to the wall and floor so they can't move anymore. Once my crime fighting, if you can call it that, is done, I zip back down to my room and go to sleep. And that's pretty much the end of it. I was given enough of Spiderman's powers to make people quiet long enough so I could get some sleep. The end. |
