Writes


Letters
Company Pen
Betting On Trump
How Many Toilets?
Lost Nickle
Dear Airline
Dear Senator Vasconcellos
Dear CBS
Dear Carolina Panthers
10 Questions From Americans
Dear Toys R Us...
Small On Top?
The Benjagon
Use Those Weather-Sticks
Einstein Didn’t Know His Barber Could Cook
I Want Your Clutter
Hello, Coca-Cola?
The Question About The Bill
10 Interview Questions


Dreams
Do I Own A Snake?
Fourth Is Enough
7 Year Living Room
Water Bowl
Overboard
Team 3D and The Finger
Coin Bringer
Turtle Dancing and Jell-O World
Team 3D vs. The French
Almost Spiderman
Killing The Old For Books
Closet Snake
Walking Out
Outside My Casino
Todd Took My Beer
Wednesdayding Lake
Vegas Clean Out
U.S. History Quiz in Tijuana
Uri and I vs. Lewis and Tyson
Team 3D 'Cleans' House
Shopping School
Talking to G-d in a Toy Aisle
Witness to a Dream
Bill Clinton's Pep Talk
Team 3D and the 3D Girls vs. The Purple Maori Theater Seat Thieves
North Africa vs. South Africa
Team 3D vs. The Invisible Yellow Llama -or- Zoo Island
Sparing Bonnie Hunt
Quarters for Dogs
Telling Her Off
Killing in Defense
Team 3D vs. The Ozone Blob
Mega Work Dream
Risking Life and Limb Over World War Two Germany
Pastry Bunnies
Dave and Ben vs. Ted Danson
Cory Car Club
Team 3D in New York
Yael's Book Opening Sword
Ten Foot Tall Piece of Fridayed Chicken
Web Hostage
Sky God
Team 3D vs. The Mall Wave
Nose Vines
U.F.I. Mining Town
Girls in Torture-land
Benjamin's Elevator Shaft Shower and the Golden Cross
Me, Kenn, Some Russian Guy, and Fire...
Team 3D vs. The Storm Crane
Two Dreams
Team 3D Detectives
Two Things Wrong
The Musical
A Shave and a Spot
Hawaii 500
Moving In
Japan's Crack Super Parachute Commando Squadron!

 
Sunday, November 24, 2002
Outside My Casino
 
There were two important things going on that day. One, a meeting between all the owners of the big casinos on the Las Vegas 'strip' (I was the owner of the Mirage), and two, a huge wedding between close family friend Hanna Sattler and a very, very, very wealthy boy from India.

I don't know if you're aware, but people from India LOVE to celebrate, and Indian weddings are colossal events. There was traffic up and down the Strip, extending out of eye's reach. There was a mob of people trying to shove themselves into my hotel - the site of Hanna's wedding and following reception.

It was madness.

The meeting I was attending was across the street in Bally's. I don't really remember the details of it, but it had something to do with all of us (the owners) approving the construction of the new, San Francisco themed hotel. Regardless, when the meeting was over, I made the mistake of walking out onto the street to get back to my hotel.

What a mistake. The instant I hit the pavement I was just like everyone else - a tourist. People were rude and shoved a lot. By the time I got to the hotel property, I was pushed into line by the many, bottom rank employees I had who didn't even know who I was.

And that was that. I woke with the feeling of being thoroughly annoyed yet calm, knowing that Lisa, my Vice President of the casino, was running things from the inside.

That is all.