Writes


Letters
Company Pen
Betting On Trump
How Many Toilets?
Lost Nickle
Dear Airline
Dear Senator Vasconcellos
Dear CBS
Dear Carolina Panthers
10 Questions From Americans
Dear Toys R Us...
Small On Top?
The Benjagon
Use Those Weather-Sticks
Einstein Didn’t Know His Barber Could Cook
I Want Your Clutter
Hello, Coca-Cola?
The Question About The Bill
10 Interview Questions


Dreams
Do I Own A Snake?
Fourth Is Enough
7 Year Living Room
Water Bowl
Overboard
Team 3D and The Finger
Coin Bringer
Turtle Dancing and Jell-O World
Team 3D vs. The French
Almost Spiderman
Killing The Old For Books
Closet Snake
Walking Out
Outside My Casino
Todd Took My Beer
Wednesdayding Lake
Vegas Clean Out
U.S. History Quiz in Tijuana
Uri and I vs. Lewis and Tyson
Team 3D 'Cleans' House
Shopping School
Talking to G-d in a Toy Aisle
Witness to a Dream
Bill Clinton's Pep Talk
Team 3D and the 3D Girls vs. The Purple Maori Theater Seat Thieves
North Africa vs. South Africa
Team 3D vs. The Invisible Yellow Llama -or- Zoo Island
Sparing Bonnie Hunt
Quarters for Dogs
Telling Her Off
Killing in Defense
Team 3D vs. The Ozone Blob
Mega Work Dream
Risking Life and Limb Over World War Two Germany
Pastry Bunnies
Dave and Ben vs. Ted Danson
Cory Car Club
Team 3D in New York
Yael's Book Opening Sword
Ten Foot Tall Piece of Fridayed Chicken
Web Hostage
Sky God
Team 3D vs. The Mall Wave
Nose Vines
U.F.I. Mining Town
Girls in Torture-land
Benjamin's Elevator Shaft Shower and the Golden Cross
Me, Kenn, Some Russian Guy, and Fire...
Team 3D vs. The Storm Crane
Two Dreams
Team 3D Detectives
Two Things Wrong
The Musical
A Shave and a Spot
Hawaii 500
Moving In
Japan's Crack Super Parachute Commando Squadron!

 
Tue, 20 Apr 1999
 
Ok, Kenn, Dave and I checked out our new house three days before we move in. It's like some standard Park Merced thing to make sure that we see the state of the apartment exactly how it is before we move in. And the place is immaculate. It's like nobody has ever lived there before. So we sign the papers, and in we move.

Three days later, it's the first day of the move. We open the door, and it looks like a family used to live there, but moved out years and years ago. It's weird. There's a perfectly thin film of dust coating everything, and cobwebs in corners and stretching out from flat surfaces to the few random objects left reamining (a lamp, a lone chair in the corner of the living room, two or three pieces of mail delivered through the slot after they left, a tea kettle on the stove, etc...). I go to my room, and even though almost everything is moved out, there's still some things on the wall (high school penant, two or three pictures tacked to the wall, a nightstand with a few random pieces of makeup that hasn't been used in years, etc...), just enough to let me know it used to be a girl's room. Dave's the same way, but it used to be a boy's room, Kenn's used to be a den or something. I look in my closet, and there's a door. I open that door, and there's and even smaller closet with two stacks of books; textbooks and yearbooks, all covered in the bland grey of dust.

I pick up the top textbook, and it's French. And guess who's name was scribbled in as the last user of the book? Lisa Herpe! The next book is English, and it used to be Adina's. Then there was Math-Donna, History-Yael, and so forth. Dave came running to me with text books too. The math was mine, science was Idan, english was Uri, etc.... Just those of us that grew up here together, Dave and Kenn weren't metnioned anywhere. Weird. The yearbooks were school yearbooks from when we were kids, but the pictures inside them were photos of us when we were young, while we were in highschool, and family functions we went to like bar mitzvahs and stuff like that. But these weren't pictures we actually posed for, these were just candid shots of us during the times while we grew up together. Us bowling, going out to coffee, when we went to Reno as kids, trips to Mexico, Israel, etc. Just everything each of us ever did all summed up in a concise, photo journal.

As soon as I closed the last book of pictures, I woke up. Immediately I acknowledged that it was a super weird dream, but then I realized, I got the best sleep I ever had in a very, very long time. then I woke up.