Writes


Letters
Company Pen
Betting On Trump
How Many Toilets?
Lost Nickle
Dear Airline
Dear Senator Vasconcellos
Dear CBS
Dear Carolina Panthers
10 Questions From Americans
Dear Toys R Us...
Small On Top?
The Benjagon
Use Those Weather-Sticks
Einstein Didn’t Know His Barber Could Cook
I Want Your Clutter
Hello, Coca-Cola?
The Question About The Bill
10 Interview Questions


Dreams
Do I Own A Snake?
Fourth Is Enough
7 Year Living Room
Water Bowl
Overboard
Team 3D and The Finger
Coin Bringer
Turtle Dancing and Jell-O World
Team 3D vs. The French
Almost Spiderman
Killing The Old For Books
Closet Snake
Walking Out
Outside My Casino
Todd Took My Beer
Wednesdayding Lake
Vegas Clean Out
U.S. History Quiz in Tijuana
Uri and I vs. Lewis and Tyson
Team 3D 'Cleans' House
Shopping School
Talking to G-d in a Toy Aisle
Witness to a Dream
Bill Clinton's Pep Talk
Team 3D and the 3D Girls vs. The Purple Maori Theater Seat Thieves
North Africa vs. South Africa
Team 3D vs. The Invisible Yellow Llama -or- Zoo Island
Sparing Bonnie Hunt
Quarters for Dogs
Telling Her Off
Killing in Defense
Team 3D vs. The Ozone Blob
Mega Work Dream
Risking Life and Limb Over World War Two Germany
Pastry Bunnies
Dave and Ben vs. Ted Danson
Cory Car Club
Team 3D in New York
Yael's Book Opening Sword
Ten Foot Tall Piece of Fridayed Chicken
Web Hostage
Sky God
Team 3D vs. The Mall Wave
Nose Vines
U.F.I. Mining Town
Girls in Torture-land
Benjamin's Elevator Shaft Shower and the Golden Cross
Me, Kenn, Some Russian Guy, and Fire...
Team 3D vs. The Storm Crane
Two Dreams
Team 3D Detectives
Two Things Wrong
The Musical
A Shave and a Spot
Hawaii 500
Moving In
Japan's Crack Super Parachute Commando Squadron!

 
Tue, 4 Mar 2002
TEAM 3D and the 3D GIRLS vs. THE PURPLE MAORI THEATER SEAT THIEFS
 
Team 3D and the 3D girls head on out to a movie.

Kenn and Jess get a couple seats, Benjamin and Lisa get a couple seats, and in between them are two more seats that we're holding for Dave and Adina.

Dave and Adina are running late for whatever reason, and when they finally show up in the middle of previews, we notice that there's only one seat between us.

We look around in confusion, for we thought we held two seats, and then we notice that to the left of Kenn and Jess, our enemies (purple people with maori markings) were getting ready for the show. What they did was teleport one of the seats towards the end of the row so their extra friend could have a seat, and scoot the rest of the seats in to fill the gap without anyone knowing. That's pretty much all they're capable of - teleporting and scooting seats without people knowing.

The bitch of it is that it takes three to fight them, and Dave doesn't have a seat. And since Dave doesn't have a seat, Dave can't fight. Perfect sense, right? The girls can't fight because they're too busy getting ready to protect the innocent people in the theater from the wake of the upcoming battle, by way of creating huge electric shields from their hands.

Kenn and I fly to the Justice League's secret headquarters up in space, only to find that everyone's gone except for the Flash, and he's drunk. Kenn and I call in all the other superheroes on some giant view screen, but they're all busy - and mad at us for interrupting them in the middle of their missions.

We fly back down to the theater, only to find that Dave's killed one of the bad guys, and taken his seat. Kenn and I don't know how that happened, but Dave's able to fight now (since he has a seat), and so we all rush the bad guys who are huddled into a corner.

The bad guys keep using their ability to move seats around in the theater, and people that came in together and sat together are finding themselves next to people they didn't know. The screams were horrible, and the girls were flying around, picking people up and placing them with their friends - kind of like a giant size version of Memory.

Since Kenn and I don't know how to kill the bad guys, and Dave obviously does, Kenn and I simply pick one of them up, one at a time, one of us per arm, bring them to Dave, and then Dave kills them with mighty, red beams of light from his eyes.

As soon as they're all gone, the theater owners are pleased and give us free food, and we sit and watch the movie in peace.