The club is simple one large room. Very large. And perfectly cubic too, about 100 feet in every dierection (X, Y, and Z axises). One wall is the wall in which there is a door for people to enter and exit. It has a bar and myriad of television screens playing all of Cory's movies, simultaneously. The opposite wall simply had a massive mural that depicted, you guess it, Cory and his car. Facing the mural, to the left, was a 100 feet by 100 feet plasma computer screen, upon which websites were display, and opposite that was a wall barricaded with bleachers for people to sit while they watched Cory fondle his car. The club was very difficult to get into, and my cousin is the owner of a nightclub tour company here in the city. He is of minor celebrity status, and can walk into any club in the bay area, without a single person turning a head, let alone try to charge him admission or whatever. He had an opportunity to go, and asked me, "Ben, I've got access to The Car tonight, want to go?" Of course I went! For whatever reason it was the hottest ticket in town. We get there, we're in, we get some drinks, and we sit on the bleachers like everyone else. And then, instead of music getting played so people could dance or whatnot, everyone quiets down for a Q&A session with Cory. However, in order to be allowed to speak with Cory, you have to have a personal website. If you do, it gets displayed on the computer screen wall for all to enjoy. Listening to everyone ask Cory philosophical questions ("Why are we here," "Where do we go when we die," "Is there a G-d," etc...), and then having to listen to Cory answer them all like he knows, well, made me sick. So, I decided to ask a question too. I stood up, just like everyone else with a question, and waited to be called upon. Finally, when Cory came round to me, his first question was, "What your site?" So I gave him this one, http://www.geocities.com/bigfatsmellyhairybutt. When it came up, every let loose a gasp of horror and Cory became nervous. "PLAGERIST!," he yelled at me. "What?" "You ripped off my site. You copied my site!" When I tried to explain to him that I didn't, that I designed this completely on my own, and that any resemblance between our two sites was completely coincidental, he ignored me and had his site pulled up. And when I saw it, I understood. He ripped me off. The only thing he changed from my original site was the word 'BENSMASH'. He simply changed it to, you guessed it, 'CORY'. The Japanese characters on the left still spelled 'Benjamin', the content was still exactly the same. "Um, Cory," I began, "you ripped me off. If you're going to rip someone off, at least change the content. I mean, you didn't have all those dreams, and I doubt you have the exact same DVD collection I do." "NO!," he yelled back, "YOU'RE COPYING ME!" "Oh yeah, Cory? Tell you what. You know those roommates you have? That you've written about?" "Yes." "Which one's Filipino?" "Um....Dave." "Wrong." "I meant Kenn, everyone knows I meant Kenn." "Ok, fine. How about this. We each get one phone call. Just one. And whomever can ring up Dave and Kenn on the FIRST try, is obviously the original." "HOW ABOUT A RACE!" And that's where it all went downhill. Cory, obviously the liar, still has one thing I don't, and that's his fancy car. He wants to race me. And the best part? Upon his challenging me for a race, automatically, the mural wall raised up, only to reveal that behind it was another room, with another one of these cars. Cory's was black, the one just revealed was grey. Now I know where all his money went. "You get the grey one," he tells me, as if somehow still maintaining his superiority over me. I look at Rich, and tell him that I want him to drive. I can't work a manual too well, and I know he really can. Without my even mentioning a wager, Cory pipes up, "And if you can beat me, you can keep BOTH cars!" With that, Richie and I cracked up. There's five of these cars in the world, and nobody we know has ever seen one of these cars in person, let alone drive one, and here we are, making Cory look like an asshole, AND Rich gets to drive, AND, if Rich wins, we keep both cars. Cory's club resides inthe top floor of a very large parking garage downtown, and the race was simply to the bottom and back. At the bottom of the garage was a yellow support column, which the racers had to go around in order to head back up. The getin their cars, and start their speedy way down. Since it's a public garage, there's mobing obstacles around which Cory and Rich had to manuever. Since all the other cars were in an orderly line to leave the building, Rich simply went down the "up" ramps, and hoped for the best. When Cory saw Rich do this, he followed suit and went down the "up" ramp as well. cory caught up, and they were neck and neck. Cory was so busy trying to stare down Rich that, when they reached the yellow column, Rich turned to head back up, and Cory didn't notice and kept going. On his way back up, Cory couldn't find Rich, and assumed he lost him. When Cory pulled back into his club, there was Rich, posing very stylish with his new, grey, $500,000 car, on the rotating platform upon which Cory once stood. Rich asked me then, "So, which one do you want?" "I'll take the black one. Lisa's the one who drives a stick, and I think she'd like the black." "Good, I want this silver one. Elizabeth likes silver. |
