Writes


Letters
Company Pen
Betting On Trump
How Many Toilets?
Lost Nickle
Dear Airline
Dear Senator Vasconcellos
Dear CBS
Dear Carolina Panthers
10 Questions From Americans
Dear Toys R Us...
Small On Top?
The Benjagon
Use Those Weather-Sticks
Einstein Didn’t Know His Barber Could Cook
I Want Your Clutter
Hello, Coca-Cola?
The Question About The Bill
10 Interview Questions


Dreams
Do I Own A Snake?
Fourth Is Enough
7 Year Living Room
Water Bowl
Overboard
Team 3D and The Finger
Coin Bringer
Turtle Dancing and Jell-O World
Team 3D vs. The French
Almost Spiderman
Killing The Old For Books
Closet Snake
Walking Out
Outside My Casino
Todd Took My Beer
Wednesdayding Lake
Vegas Clean Out
U.S. History Quiz in Tijuana
Uri and I vs. Lewis and Tyson
Team 3D 'Cleans' House
Shopping School
Talking to G-d in a Toy Aisle
Witness to a Dream
Bill Clinton's Pep Talk
Team 3D and the 3D Girls vs. The Purple Maori Theater Seat Thieves
North Africa vs. South Africa
Team 3D vs. The Invisible Yellow Llama -or- Zoo Island
Sparing Bonnie Hunt
Quarters for Dogs
Telling Her Off
Killing in Defense
Team 3D vs. The Ozone Blob
Mega Work Dream
Risking Life and Limb Over World War Two Germany
Pastry Bunnies
Dave and Ben vs. Ted Danson
Cory Car Club
Team 3D in New York
Yael's Book Opening Sword
Ten Foot Tall Piece of Fridayed Chicken
Web Hostage
Sky God
Team 3D vs. The Mall Wave
Nose Vines
U.F.I. Mining Town
Girls in Torture-land
Benjamin's Elevator Shaft Shower and the Golden Cross
Me, Kenn, Some Russian Guy, and Fire...
Team 3D vs. The Storm Crane
Two Dreams
Team 3D Detectives
Two Things Wrong
The Musical
A Shave and a Spot
Hawaii 500
Moving In
Japan's Crack Super Parachute Commando Squadron!

 
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Team 3D vs. The French
 
I was driving a bus down a steep hill towards London’s Heathrow Airport (I know there aren’t any significantly steep hills around London’s Heathrow Airport, but I live in San Francisco, I’ve been in Heathrow only three time in my life and none of those times included surveying the surrounding areas, and this is a dream so get over it), and nearly all the neighboring lights from smaller towns and cities were out.

There was an invasion on from England’s great adversary, France, and England diverted all defensive forces to Heathrow Airport and a couple routes leading to Heathrow simply as an attempt to evacuate the populous.

Team 3D and the 3D Girls were on the bus, along with a dozen or so locals. Some of the locals were injured from the initial attacks, and the 3D Girls were tending to their wounds.

Suddenly, while making my way down the steep hill towards the airport which was still about ten miles away, the ground rocked and the stream of red tail-lights that was the traffic ahead of me disappeared instantly, some of them were strewn up into the night sky chased after by flames, clouds of smoke, and debris.

There was now a big hole in the ground ahead of us and, if I kept driving forward, we were going to fall right into it. Instead, I told Dave to hold the wheel as I climbed out the window, climbed to the roof of the bus, threw myself in front of the still moving bus, waited for it to roll over me, and I lifted it high into the sky as I flew the bus and its passengers to safety (why, since I was able to fly, didn’t I just fly the bus to safety instead of waiting in line to get on a plane? It’s a dream, leave me alone).

The safest place for me to land, away from the French attacks, was on a side of a mountain opposite the side facing the airport and our only chance for escape.

After I put the bus down Team 3D and I walked about and surveyed the area. There was no quick route from where were to the airport. Kenn told everyone to get on the bus, told Dave to stand on the roof of the bus (you’ll see why soon enough), and asked me to raise the bus into the sky once more.

Leaving Kenn on the ground, everyone looked on from a few hundred feet in the air as Kenn clasped both his hands together in a mighty fist and, screaming, slammed them into the ground. What looked like lighting, a crooked and fast moving path or light drew itself up the length of the mountain. When the light reached the top of the mountain the side lit with light exploded and threw out into the air millions of tons of rock.

The cloud of dust and rock and large bits of earth was deflected from those of us in (and below and above) the bus as Dave extended his hands forward, his palms towards the incoming remnants of mountain – creating a greenish-yellow shield in front of and around us.

When everything pretty much settled, we landed right next to Kenn who, dusty and dirty and his knuckles bleeding, smiled and got back on the bus. I hopped back behind the wheel and drove through the mountain – Dave still on top just in case.

Once through the hollowed out mountain, we drove right into a sortie of falling French artillery which Dave effortlessly deflected from both us and our path to the airport. We made it to the airport, made it to a plane, and took off heading for Spain and then the United States.

I remember I was just about to order my in-flight drink, and then Lisa woke me up.