Writes


Letters
Company Pen
Betting On Trump
How Many Toilets?
Lost Nickle
Dear Airline
Dear Senator Vasconcellos
Dear CBS
Dear Carolina Panthers
10 Questions From Americans
Dear Toys R Us...
Small On Top?
The Benjagon
Use Those Weather-Sticks
Einstein Didn’t Know His Barber Could Cook
I Want Your Clutter
Hello, Coca-Cola?
The Question About The Bill
10 Interview Questions


Dreams
Do I Own A Snake?
Fourth Is Enough
7 Year Living Room
Water Bowl
Overboard
Team 3D and The Finger
Coin Bringer
Turtle Dancing and Jell-O World
Team 3D vs. The French
Almost Spiderman
Killing The Old For Books
Closet Snake
Walking Out
Outside My Casino
Todd Took My Beer
Wednesdayding Lake
Vegas Clean Out
U.S. History Quiz in Tijuana
Uri and I vs. Lewis and Tyson
Team 3D 'Cleans' House
Shopping School
Talking to G-d in a Toy Aisle
Witness to a Dream
Bill Clinton's Pep Talk
Team 3D and the 3D Girls vs. The Purple Maori Theater Seat Thieves
North Africa vs. South Africa
Team 3D vs. The Invisible Yellow Llama -or- Zoo Island
Sparing Bonnie Hunt
Quarters for Dogs
Telling Her Off
Killing in Defense
Team 3D vs. The Ozone Blob
Mega Work Dream
Risking Life and Limb Over World War Two Germany
Pastry Bunnies
Dave and Ben vs. Ted Danson
Cory Car Club
Team 3D in New York
Yael's Book Opening Sword
Ten Foot Tall Piece of Fridayed Chicken
Web Hostage
Sky God
Team 3D vs. The Mall Wave
Nose Vines
U.F.I. Mining Town
Girls in Torture-land
Benjamin's Elevator Shaft Shower and the Golden Cross
Me, Kenn, Some Russian Guy, and Fire...
Team 3D vs. The Storm Crane
Two Dreams
Team 3D Detectives
Two Things Wrong
The Musical
A Shave and a Spot
Hawaii 500
Moving In
Japan's Crack Super Parachute Commando Squadron!

 
July 13, 2001
GIRLS IN TORTURE-LAND
 
As the dream opens, or rather, where my memory of my dream begins, I'm in the lead car of an extremely long caravan going through a beautifuly wooded road through some mountains to a destination as yet unknown.

Sunbeams shoot through the leaves and polka-dot the ground and road.

I'm driving with Lisa, Dave's following behind me driving with Adina, Kenn's next with Jessica, Uri's next with Kara, and on and on and on... Some kind of couples only excursion.

Over a few hills, and around some thickly wooded areas, we come to a kind of gate to a carnival of sorts. Looking in, we see that the place is terribly huge. There's a moat so big that we thought it was a river until told otherwise. There's boats, buildings, concessions, yet, there's no center attraction, no theme. Just a funpark.

The monsterous moat goes around a very large and somewhat mountain shaped island, and there's an old pirate ship that guests can ride to go around the mountain. Apparently, the main focus of this park is on the other side of the mountain, and only two people can go at a time.

We all park our cars and walk in. The doorman explains just how physically strenuous the trip around the mountain is, and that our little group should choose someone that's a bit stronger than the rest. Jokingly, Kenn says something along the lines about how he doesn't know if I'm the strongest, but I can take a beating better than anyone else.

Hearing that, the doorman's eyes kind of, well, they just blinked off like the power light on your computer after you shut it down. He points at me and says, "You will be the Carrier. Only the women can see, and you must carry them through.

Well, that's the weirdest thing any of us have ever heard, but, yet again, my most favorite thing, Dream Logic. It kicks in, and kicks in strong, and we all decide, you guessed it, to go in.

All the fella's sit around a bar, drinking juice and coffee and sodas, and all the girls get in line for the pirate ship.

I'm blindfolded, and Lisa's put in my arms. I walk aboard, and holding Lisa, the boat takes off, making it's trip around the island.

As we go, Lisa whispers in my ear all that she sees, for I'm not allowed to see it for myself. She's pretty much bored; lots of plants and trees, some parrots here and there... Then I hear her gasp as she explains in terrific detail the sight of a man sitting, quite willingly with a smile on his face, in a chair in the midst of a cleared area. Then, without warning he tilts his head back, and closes his eyes, as if he's expecting the man that suddenly appeared behind him.

The man produces a knife, and slits the sitting man's throat.

The boat never stops, and about 15 minutes after that, it docks.

I want to leave, but I can't until I've taken all the girls on this boat. I tried to leave, but someone kept kicking me in the back of the knees to keep me on the boat. I couldn't see.

Every time I went around, the scene being described became more and more horendous. A simple slitting of the throat became someone burning alive, to someone being eaten by a crocodile from the moat, to someone's stomach being opened and his innards being spilled onto the ground.

One girl per trip, and there were about 10 girls. I was getting very tired, very quickly, and each person I carried had different styles of description. Jessica couldn't stop herself from describing the redness of the blood, Adina, for whatever reason, laughed aloud as she tried to tell me about the body's twitching, and Lisa told me only about the victim's eyes.

The funny thing is that even there was a finite number of girls I had to carry through this ordeal, it felt like I was in an infinite loop that wouldn't end. And that's how I woke up. The last thing I remember was carrying someone, I don't remember who, through the 'ride', and I knew that there was still a line waiting for me when I got back.

Explanation? I could only assume that if there were only ten girls, and the line never got shorter, that they kept getting back in line after they were through.

And voila, my dream's over.